Hi Y'all! While I'm in mediation this morning you get the pleasure of reading "How to be Single and Like It!...Most of the Time" by Jess!
Ironic? I think not.
How To Be Single And Like It (…..Most Of The Time)
Table for one.
If those sound familiar, then you are either single or have been.
Me? I’m in the “I’ve been single for-ev-er” category. Like, forever. I’m so good at it, I should teach classes.
Those of you who know me, know that I am not always a fan of the single life. I have dreams of being a wife and mommy. You also know that I have had my heart broken and have been known to set my sights on a particular man or two.
However desperate I may feel or seem in the big world of blogging, I apparently hide it well in my everyday life.
Two quick examples….
While talking to a friend about the ongoing Fun Distraction “will we, won’t we” situation, my friend surprised me by saying, “It’s not like you are desperate, Jess. As long as I’ve known you, you have never been one who is dying to jump into a relationship. Just keep trucking and see what happens with FD. Maybe you will get together or maybe you won’t. Either way, you will be fine.”
Then, while having a conversation with FD, he utterly shocked me…. “See, you just don’t need anyone. You’re content being by yourself.”... To which I responded, “Is that how you see me? Like I don’t want or need a relationship?”…. FD: “Well, you don’t complain about it. Most people do.”… Me: “Not whining or complaining about it is NOT the same as not wanting or needing it.”
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Clearly, neither of them read my blog. That is what I mean, though. I hide it well.
On the heels of both of those conversations, I did a little self-searching and came to a realization.
I like being single…… most of the time. Here are a few reasons why…..
1)Ice cream for dinner. – Or, an apple. Or, cheese and crackers. Whatever I want to eat, I can without worrying about what Mr. Meat and Potatoes wants for dinner.
2) Girls’ Night. – One thing I notice about my friends (most of whom are married or in serious relationships) is that their “girl time” is seriously depleted. It becomes difficult to plan some fun time, because of the hubby and kids. Now, the flip side is that *I* often am also waiting on their schedules to open up, but it is a lot easier for me to find time to get together than it is for them.
3)Possibilities. – At this point in my life, I have no real commitments. The future is wide open. If I wanted to pack up tomorrow and move to unknown lands, I technically could do just that. Once you add a plus one, that can’t happen. Relationships require communication, compromise, and planning. Singleness does not.
4) Sleep – I do love sleep. When I’m not forced to get up for the ole job, I can sleep as long as I like. It is amazing.
5) Holidays. – I love my family and their holiday traditions. I love the fact that at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, AND the 4th of July, I can enjoy my mom’s cooking and my family’s company without any guilt or argument.
6) Being the favorite. –We all know that once you have children, all bets are off. You are no longer the apple of your parents’ eye. Nope, the offspring takes first chair. And, there is always the possibility that your significant other will be so great that your family likes him better than you. As long as I am single, they have no choice but to like me best.
7) Disney. – A lot of men are not as fond of Disney as I am. Well, except for my friend LA’s husband B who happens to love Disney even more than LA and I. But, he loved her and she is perfect for him…. And, other than the whole Disney-loving thing, he’s not really my type. All that to say, I can go to Disney a lot and no one gripes about it.
Now, I am not trying to bash relationships or marriage or having kids. Those are all things that I actually really, really want. There are times when the desire is so great, it actually hurts. However, the reasons above are why I think I “am not jumping into a relationship” or why I “don’t whine and complain about being single.”
Sometimes, it sucks. But, often, being single has its perks. Those perks are enough that I really don’t want to give them up for someone who isn’t right for me. The women who jump from relationship to relationship with crappy guys who aren’t good for them? They are missing out on some really great things.
You know, like ice cream for dinner.